and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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