it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
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