How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
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