do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Randomize
