i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Randomize
