yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
