Did you just see the Batmobile???
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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