I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
