I must be too annoying 4 u.
Betty ford says i'm here all night
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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