we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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