I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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