The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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