Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize