Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Green mimosas i think yes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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