i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Sext me about skeletons
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
