I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
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