Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
