Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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