Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
