I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
