everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Randomize
