Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
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