would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Randomize
