Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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