so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Randomize
