I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize