I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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