Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
