Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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