the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
