Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
