It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
