Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
