guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
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