She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
Walk of Shame today included voting.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
