She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Randomize