does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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