you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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