I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize