we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
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Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
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I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
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