If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Randomize
