pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
