I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
