I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
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