his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize