i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize