Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Can you repeat that, but with context?
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Randomize
