I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
