well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Randomize
