Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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