We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
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