I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
