You really coming over, don't trick.
I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
