you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
this is an emotional support booty call
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
