I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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