Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
