Sponge bath it is.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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