One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
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