i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
