I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
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I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
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but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
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