How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize