My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
